Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Cunego Changes Nickname To The Fresh Prince

The Netherlands - April 22, 2008

Following his victory in the Amstel Gold Race, Italian cyclist Damiano Cunego spent little time discussing the event. Instead, he used the post-race press conference to strongly encourage both fans and media to begin referring to him as “The Fresh Prince.”

Since 2004, Cunego has been saddled with the unfortunate nickname “The Little Prince” after his stunning victory in the Giro d’Italia at the age of 22. But despite his diminutive size and similar appearance to the lead character in the famous book by Saint-Exupery, the Italian has made it clear that he no longer wants to be referred to as “The Little” anything.

"I know I am only 5'6", but come on, enough is enough. I'm tired of being called 'Little.' The 'Prince' thing is cool though. I actually like being called a prince, but I don't really want to be called 'Prince' either. That guy is seriously weird and I'm pretty sure Lampre won't go for ass-less cycling shorts like that freak used to wear."

A thoroughly confused British reporter then asked for clarification of what he was talking about, to which Cunego responded, "Don't get me wrong, I liked Purple Rain and respect the guy as a musician but I really don’t know how much I have in common with Prince. It is true that we both dated Carmen Electra for awhile but beyond that, there are not too many similarities. Plus, the guy is like 5'2" and about 90lbs so I am pretty much like Magnus Backstedt compared to him."

"I really just want to be called 'The Fresh Prince' because I feel I deserve it at this point in my career. But there are other reasons as well. For example, I can rap way better than Will Smith," continued the Italian.

"There is also the fact that we have both gone on to outshine the guys that were our original partners. The Fresh Prince has kind of left DJ Jazzy Jeff in the dust when it comes to mainstream popularity and some could say that I have done the same thing to Gilberto Simoni. We began as a team but it was clear early on who had the most star power," explained Cunego to the crowd of reporters.

"I don't recall Jazzy ever calling Prince a 'bastard' or an 'idiot' like Simoni did to me, but regardless, there is still probably some tension there," he continued. "When Will Smith started doing solo albums, I bet Jazzy was pretty mad that he wasn't involved. Just like Gibo was mad at me when I went on those solo attacks in the Giro a few years ago."

At this point, a Belgian reporter asked if Cunego was still a fan of The Doors and Jim Morrison, which has been widely publicized over the past years. The blonde Italian responded, "Well, I still like The Doors but I am becoming a much bigger Hip Hop fan now. That's part of the reason I want to be called 'The Fresh Prince.' I was thinking about maybe calling myself 'Prince Diddy' or 'MC Cunnilego' but those weren't very catchy. We don't have much good Hip Hop music to listen to over here in Europe so I am only really familiar with a few acts but I'm getting better. I just found out about Wu-Tang Clan and really like ODB a lot."

"I may even try to change my nickname to ODC in a few years. Old Dirty Cunego."

The press conference concluded with a reporter questioning whether the Italian's family was supportive of his desired nickname change. The Fresh Prince then responded with the famous lyrics, "There's no need to argue, Parents Just Don't Understand."


Charlie Murphy said...

Prince can ride a motorcycle okay but he is a phenomenal basketball player.

He will whoop up on you wearing a blouse and high-heeled shoes.

DJ Jazzy Gilberto said...

I think I can beat Mike Tyson.

Kk said...

Wonder if he'd mind being referred to As "Little Smokin' Hottie"? DAMN!