Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Pre-Cali Ponderings Purge

Schadenfreude Rage:

Schadenfreude is generally understood as pleasure taken from observing the misery of another. A slightly more detailed definition is the "largely unanticipated delight in the suffering of another, which is cognized as trivial and/or appropriate."

It should be noted that I was a fan of professional baseball before I even knew what professional cycling was. So, while the recent A-Rod, Tejada and Radomski stories may not have “delighted” me per se, I must admit that it is oddly relieving to have another sport usurp cycling for the top spot on the media’s “Dirty List.” Even if it is the National Pastime.

On a side note regarding the A-Roid Story: Does anyone else think that Madonna is just about the most perfect candidate for HGH use? I’m not usually down with making suggestions like that but have you seen the woman lately? She’s ripped like Bruce Lee in Enter The Dragon.

I always thought the relationship between Sean Penn’s 50 year-old ex-wife and the highest-paid player in baseball was an odd one at best. Perhaps not quite as odd as her past with Dennis Rodman (did he introduce her to Kabbalah?) but still pretty strange. It would be na├»ve however, to think that celebrities from music and film did not rival professional athletics in the widespread use of “performance-enhancing” drugs. The prominent use of HGH in anti-aging clinics is a topic that I have not heard discussed much in music or film, but it could be argued that the physical benefits for those industries equal or outweigh the results gained in pro sports.

“Gotta drop 25lbs and get muscled-up for that next super-hero flick? In three months? Okay, I think we can find something to help.” “Need to get smooth, toned and tight for that romantic-comedy with the younger guy? “You may want to try this…”

Who knows? I’m just saying…but I should probably get back to the cycling stuff.

Somewhere Phil Liggett Is Having Nightmares:

There was a break in the fourth stage of the Tour of Qatar that consisted of what may be the most tongue-twisting group of names that I can recall. With the exception of the exceedingly normal Michael Barry (Columbia-High Road), the rest of the break’s participants had names like Abdelbaset Hannachi (Doha Team) Maarten Tjallingii (Rabobank), Gatis Smukulis (Ag2r-La Mondiale) Dominik Roels (Milram), David Deroo (Skil-Shimano) and Rhys Pollock (Drapac Porsche Cycling).

I can just see Phil and Paul in the booth (if they were there?), looking at those names and freestyling something that may or may not have been even remotely close. I often wonder how many names I unknowingly mispronounce because of Phil and Paul. I’m sure they do their best and get far more right than wrong but still…who’s going to correct them? Bob Roll?

For all I know, maybe it really is “Bone-in” and not “Boo-nen” and Valverde actually does pronounce his first name “Alleythandro.”

Excuse me Mr. Armstrong but Phil Knight is on Line 1:

Not that it’s a big deal, but is LA wearing black Rocket 7’s with a big yellow Nike swoosh on them? I know that there are a number of other high-profile riders such as Levi Leipheimer, Mark Cavendish and Nicole Cooke who still rock the legit Nikes…so what’s up with LA going all ninja stealth? I know his old kicks were basically re-branded as well, but they at least did a better job of covering it up. Can you imagine LeBron James just slapping a sticker on some Reeboks?

Also…What’s the Over/Under on how long it takes Mr. Armstrong to convince Astana that the old powder and yellow kits need to get “Lance’d” up a little bit and modified? Three months?

Nothing too severe but somehow I see changes being made to the kit used in the bigger races later on in the year. My guess is that the earliest time for a kit change would be the Tour of California and the latest would be the Giro d’Italia. There just has to be more black eventually. Not like "Smell The Glove from Spinal Tap" black but you’ll see…the image is too important.

Speaking of California:

I can’t wait. There will be MUCH more to follow as I prepare for another trip back to the Homeland for perhaps the best race in U.S. history. Hopefully the weather cooperates. Stay tuned.

1 comment:

Jason said...

watching the news the other night I also felt strangely pleased that some other sport was made out to be full of big bad cheaters. It was also a nice change of pace from the usual stance in cycling where everyone assumes the evil euros are all juiced, but the americans play with nothing but determination and guts. Now everyone can see that these good old boys cheat just like everyone else, regardless of their homeland. Ditto on the Astana uniform. I really can't see old LA spending an entire season in that thing. Do they even have any Kazakhs left on the team?