TdF Pre TT Recap - Teen Wolf, Ditka and Fish

Now that we have had sufficient time to forget the illusions of Ricky Ricardo and Dilated Piepoli, this seems like a good opportunity to look back on the last week or so and see what aftertastes are lingering from our menu of TdF goodness. Let us all ignore (momentarily) the mess left by Saunier-Robert Duval-Byron Scott and the other misfits, while acknowledging (begrudgingly) the repercussions of stringent testing and appreciating (thoroughly) the outstanding performances of a largely clean Tour. Okay?

Okay.

Mark Cavendish – Kind of fast

The young speedster whom I have now dubbed “Teen Wolf” made a shamockery of the bunch sprints of the 2008 Tour de France. I'm still not sure if he is more of a Michael J. Fox or Jason Bateman version but time will tell. It’s actually difficult to comment on Cav's wins because he generally makes it look absurdly easy to jump 5-10 spots and then open a 3 bike-length gap in the last 200 meters. Team Columbia was very strong and the field was Petacchi and Boonen-less but still…it’s just not that easy.

One of my favorite parts about the Cavendish Experience is the guaranteed post-race interview awkwardness. He is exceedingly grateful to his teammates and usually answers most questions with references to them - Good job so far PR guys. But then he always manages to sneak in a “If I’m anywhere near the front I will win for sure” kind of line which just totally ruins the façade of humility.

And his look of “Well…yeah. Duh” whenever the interviewer says that he proved he is the fastest, is absolutely great. Someone get this kid a self-esteem coach. He needs to work on the confidence. Sorry Meatball, but lookout Beijing.

Danny Pate – Close but no paté

It was another close call for the Garmin-Chipotle crew as Danny The Pate made the break and finished third in one of the hardest mountain stages in the Tour. Following up Frischkorn’s effort in Stage 3, it seems that the U.S. rookies are handling the biggest race in the world with remarkable courage and some darn good form.

Although it was especially heartbreaking to watch the final meters and post-race interview, The Pate should be proud of the effort and continues to prove that you can get to the top without compromising yourself. I just hope nobody called him Paté in the French press room.

Vande Velde – Better than Ditka

Staying with the Garmin-Chipotle theme, how about Christian Vande Velde? The kid from Illinois is making the Super Fans proud and again, setting a great example of a good guy, getting great results, the right way. Even Ditka could learn a thing or two from VDV.

The crash after getting detached on the Col de la Bonette will probably sneak into the “D’oh” column in his career retrospective but may actually be a good motivator for the TT on Saturday. I believe that he has a good ride left in him and certainly think that he can get on the podium if things go his way in the race of truth.

Regardless, the Chicago-land area is better known for Downers Grove and crit racing so it’s pretty cool to see VDV succeeding in France. Perhaps all his years in Boulder have a little something to do with that though. Actually, I wonder if he maybe he had a flashback of the annual carnage of Downers Grove after going so hard to bridge back up on the climb that caused him to crash on the descent. Just like home eh VDV?

Crashes and Descents – Winning and Losing the Hard Way

Speaking of crashing and descending, it seems like this Tour has been chock-full of both. Just about all of the favorites have hit the deck so far but there has also been an element of importance on descending in this year’s GC race that I don’t recall seeing much in the past. All crashes aside, I really enjoy the element of danger and risk that emerges when there is a tough descent near the finish of a stage. I’m guessing that Luis-Leon-Spinks Sanchez feels the same way after making his stage-winning move on the downslope.

Now, we all know that Pereiro has a flair for spectacular biffs but his aerial techniques apparently still need a little work. Matt Hoffman he is not. And as a result, his crash over the guardrail and onto the road below in Stage 15 was literally a nightmare. When the initial report came in that he had broken his femur (the biggest bone in the human body!) I felt like I was going to puke. Thankfully, he managed to escape with merely a fractured scapula so I ended up with just a little heartburn instead. I would imagine all the guys who had to ride past him as he lay screaming on the ground got a little verklempt as well.

Jon-Lee Hooker Augustyn’s Superman impression down the hillside was pretty scary at first but became somewhat comical once it was clear he was okay. Do we know if his bike ever stopped? Did he send a thank you note to the spectator that just happened to be standing there and helped him back up? These are the questions being overlooked in the Prime Time coverage.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see if the time that Menchov lost to Sastre, Evans and the Schlecks on the descent of the Bonette will come back to haunt him. I am always amazed that guys can work so hard and be so good on the climbs and then just lose it all back on the descent. It’s not a physiological issue – it’s all technique and mentality. To potentially lose the Tour de France because you can’t hold wheels on a descent is borderline inexcusable. Come on, you’re a Professional.

Bernhard Kohl – The Fish?

I have had the opportunity to see Bernhard Kohl up close and personal at the last few editions of the Tour of California and wasn’t really sure what to think of him. He’s a pretty tiny guy but his head is gigantic – so he kind of looks like a little kid on the bike.

But after watching him “swim” up the climbs of the 2008 Tour de France, as Bob Roll so eloquently described, I have become a huge fan of the young Austrian. I generally appreciate athletes with a lot of style and grace but often root for the guys that do it their own way – even if it looks weird. Kohl’s head-bobbing and swaying are almost like Jim Furyk’s golf swing or Rick Barry’s free throw shooting technique. Not exactly the prettiest to watch but certainly successful in getting the job done.

Now we just need to get Kohl a good nickname. I was thinking about “The Fish” but maybe we can do better than that. Perhaps “Porcupine Fish?” or “Puffer?” Hmm, I’m going to need to work on this one some more.

Sastre – It’s about time, literally and figuratively

There is not a single rider at the Tour de France that deserves to wear the yellow jersey more than Carlos Sastre. The diminutive Spaniard who Bjarne Riis and I call “Cahlos” has ridden a virtually spotless race so far and probably has the most accumulated credit in his Tour Luck Account. Plus, he’s just a really nice guy and has something like a dozen kids to take care of at home so he’s certainly going to be the sentimental favorite.

I also think that it would be fitting for CSC to win the Tour. They have been the best team so far and have really made the race exciting from a tactical standpoint. Say what you want about Bjarne Riis but the guy is like the Karl Rove of bike racing. Even though many people may not care for him – almost everyone respects his cunning and tactical sense. Plus, anyone that can put together a team like that needs to be recognized as a phenomenal leader. The whole team is a bunch of badasses but they all toe the company line because they know who they’ll have to answer to if they step out of it. I’d like to make a documentary called “CSC’s Brain.”

Anyway, Cahlos may not have gotten as much time on Evans as he would have hoped but I still believe that he can limit his losses and keep the jersey into Paris. The situation in last year’s final TT was very similar and Evans was not able to dislodge Contador. I see the same thing playing out this year except the gaps may be even smaller. Cattle has just been a little too rattled and tense, while Cahlos has been “muy tranquilo.” That will be the difference.

At the end of the day, or at the end of Saturday to be more specific, I see Sastre holding off Cattle Evans by a few seconds with Schleck holding on for 3rd, Menchov in 4th and Vande Velde slotting into 5th. It’s going to be tense for everyone and I just hope there are no mechanical issues that influence the GC.

Chavanel actually won a stage (I kid, but Sylvia has been working hard and deserved some success), so clearly anything can happen in this Tour de France. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait.

Excuses

Thoughts while not going as fast as I should...

Stay tuned for more Tour thoughts shortly. There may even be an interview or two in store from some of the Garmin-Chipotle crew in the next couple of days.

Peace.

COBRA vs The CaliRado Jinx

For the record, I am certain that I jinxed my beloved San Francisco Giants in Game 6 of the 2002 World Series by simply uttering the phrase "We're only six outs away." The fact that the Angels made a remarkable comeback and that I was in my livingroom in Colorado at the time is irrelevant. I was almost as much to blame as Felix Rodriguez. Almost.

My jinxing abilities were also on display during the 2007 Tour when I wrote a "creative" post on Alexandre Vinokourov and his fascination with funk legend Rick James. A day later, Vino was booted from the race for blood doping and my Cold Blooded Super Freak reference suddenly became much more than a joke. Sorry Vino, my bad. Again, this was totally my fault and had nothing to do with the boosted blood in his veins.

After recent news from France that Ricardo Ricco has tested positive for traces of EPO, it seems that The Cobra is the latest victim of my jinxing skills. I think the final straw was when I busted out the Photoshop and put the Cobra logo on his jersey in my post the other day. He was pretty much doomed after that. Again, I feel responsible for this somehow. Perhaps I should be more careful about where I aim my anti-mojo gun next time.

With the departure of Moreau as a potential target for the next CaliRado Jinx, it will be interesting to see who is next on the list. I kind of feel like Christopher Walken in The Dead Zone, only my visions are largely humorous and generally include various popular culture references. Thankfully I don't see the people die - just their careers. Farewell Cobra, it was [sort of] fun while it lasted.

`

"You should see what I see..."

TdF Perspective - Respect The Leprechaun

The Cycling World, myself included, has a tendency to lose some perspective during the Tour de France. Which is understandable, considering the beauty, scale and drama of the event. But as we watch, almost hypnotized, as the riders fly along at truly breathtaking speeds, it is easy to forget just how many levels of the sport exist beneath the glamour and spectacle of Le Grande Boucle.

While the Tour may be the premier event in bicycle racing, it should be noted that the core of the sport and the heart of its future, lies squarely within the public. Within those of us who have been fortunate enough to find our passion on two wheels, whether our own or those of the professionals who push the limits of athletic performance for our entertainment. The racers at the Tour represent the pinnacle of performance on the bike but the foundation is built on the masses that move at a far slower speed.

Although I have grown somewhat skeptical of her judgment recently, perhaps Whitney Houston said it best when she famously claimed, "The children are our future." And judging from the size of the Junior fields at most local bike races, the future of cycling in the U.S. is going to be just fine, if not spectacular.

A quick look at the typically huge Masters fields is also an indication of where the interest is currently and will continue being generated. There are a lot of kids out there racing bikes but in yet another example of life's cyclical nature, we owe it all to the old guys.

SCENE: As nearly 60 kids lined up at the start of this past Sunday's local race, the winner of the recently completed Pro/1/2 Colorado State Criterium Championship readied himself for the podium. This alone is not worthy of mentioning, but the fact that the winner of perhaps the most competitive State Championship in the country was 51 years old is as symbolic of the beauty of the sport as anything I could have scripted out of my own imagination.

`

For those of you who may not know, Alan McCormack is a TRUE cyclist by every definition of the word and potentially the best possible role model for all of the kids that watched him beat out guys half his age last Sunday. Having started racing as a junior in Ireland (his Father was an accomplished racer) and competing in everything from the Olympics to the Giro d'Italia to the Coors Classic, The Leprechaun has been doing it longer and better than anyone I can think of. I cannot do justice to McCormack's career in this format but take my word on it, the guy is as legit as it gets. I hope to write more about him soon.

Okay, I'll start a little bit now: For Reference, McCormack is one of the coolest guys ever. Mad tattoos, dyed hair - the dude is a rock star. Watching him casually move through the P/1/2 fields in Colorado is similar to watching a concert pianist or any other Master. At this point, there is a grace and composure to his racing style that is almost artistic. But beating a field of REALLY good racers in a field sprint at 51 takes more than brains. Make no mistake, the man can still fly.

The connection between McCormack's victory and the sizable Junior field may not have been obvious to everyone in attendance but it was not lost on this cyclist. Factoring in the local races and the staggering amount of recreational riders on the road, I am confident that the sport remains healthy on the domestic front, despite the on-going issues surrounding the professional ranks in Europe.

It was truly a privilege to witness the full spectrum of age and ability in cycling this past weekend. Despite Triki Beltran's positive EPO test and the apparent dissolution of the Pro Tour, appreciation for the bicycle seems to be growing on our side of the pond and I can't help but be optimistic about the future of this beautiful sport.

With inspiring role models like The Leprechaun leading the way for all the youngsters (not to mention us semi-old guys) out there, how could we possibly fail?

COBRA - Real Italian Anti-Hero

Ever since Ricardo Ricco burst on to the professional cycling scene, he has been known by the nickname “The Cobra.” While many journalists and fans have proposed theories about the origin of the moniker, little has been revealed by the rider himself until now. The true story may surprise you.

Most people assume that Ricco calls himself “The Cobra” because of his attacking style and reputation for venomous strikes aimed at opponents, both on and off the bike. But in fact, the reason behind the nickname has nothing to do with his tactics or personality, instead owing itself to his long term fascination with an American cartoon.

Ricardo Ricco never cared that G.I. Joe was a real American hero, as the theme song claims. When watching the cartoon as a young boy in Italy, he found himself identifying more with the terrorist Cobra Command Organization – especially their leader, Cobra Commander. It was not long before little Ricardo was running around with a blue hood on, screaming “Cobra!!!” at the top of lungs as he continually antagonized his fellow classmates.

When asked about his somewhat unhealthy obsession with such a villainous character, Ricco is quick to point out that Cobra Commander was simply misunderstood and pressured into global terrorism by the competitive culture of mid-80’s cartoons. The Italian climber responds similarly when asked about his fascination with Marco Pantani, although he adamantly stresses that he doesn’t believe Cobra Commander ever used EPO.

The sport of cycling has a number of individuals who have taken on nicknames associated with characters from children’s programs and cartoons such as David Rebellin (Tintin), Michael Rasmussen (The Chicken) and Manuel Beltran (Triki – a Spanish Cookie Monster) among others. While Ricco admits that his chosen moniker is not original in this sense, he firmly contends that “The Cobra” is better because “the bad guys are always way cooler than the good guys. I mean, why do you think I signed with Saunier-Duval?”

After acknowledging that the majority of the public mistakenly thinks he named himself after a snake, Ricco admits that he rarely corrects people anymore. “I originally started calling myself Cobra Commander, which pretty much kept things clear, but I thought that may have sounded a bit arrogant. And the last thing I want is to be seen as cocky. I mean, everyone already knows that I’m the best climber in the history of the world – so why should I need to include ‘Commander’ in there?”

“The Cobra is a good enough nickname for now. Maybe after a few more glorious victories in which I hypnotize the competition with my reptilian stare, the other riders and media will begin to refer to me as Cobra Commander anyway. In fact, I am certain they will. COBRA!!!”

While this last part remains to be seen, it seems clear that unless Garmin-Chipotle or Columbia signs Sgt. Slaughter or Snake Eyes in the offseason, The Cobra may be here to stay. Reports that Leonardo Piepoli is going to paint his head silver and start calling himself “Destro” have not been confirmed.

TdF - Sprechen Zie Karma?

The notion of Karma has various interpretations but the most common understanding would probably be something along the lines of "What goes around, comes around." To put it in the context of bike racing and the Tour, it could be considered a "cycle" of cause and effect, so to speak.

Even though Stefan Schumacher is rocking a slightly Buddhist look with the bald head, it might take a while to appreciate the Karmic justice of being taken down within sight of the finish and losing the leader's jersey to the very guy he made contact with. The fact that the other rider was George Hincapie's teammate is a twist of comedic irony worthy of Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. You never want to see someone deck it and lose the jersey but Stage 6 was right out of Hollywood. Only WAY better.

Again, he may not see the humor of this situation right now but perhaps Stoolmacher will be able to laugh about it in the future. Big George probably never thought he would look back on the Benelux experience and smile - but I am quite certain he had a chuckle or two after the finish in Super-Besse.

Speaking of the Republic of Columbia, General Hincapie and President Stapleton must be incredibly happy with Captain Kirchen and the rest of the fleet so far. Garmin-Chipotle may be more of a sentimental favorite for the public but the former High Roaders are giving CSC a run for the title of Best Pro Team. In fact, the inclusion of the Women's program makes Columbia a clear leader in the world of professional cycling.

By the way, I wasn't kidding when I said President Stapleton - I would vote for him in a second. Let's start a write-in campaign. Who's with me?

Alright, back to the Stage 6 -

I am rapidly trying to hang on to the Riccardo Riccobra Bandwagon as it collects summit finish victories, spewing out a dense cloud of inflammatory statements on the rest of the peloton the entire way. Seriously though, the guy is fun to watch and listen to. What more do you want? Except better shorts, of course.

The crashes and first week aggression will catch up with Valvoodoo. Among other things. He would have beaten Ricco a few weeks ago. Oscar Periero is riding really well though and Caisse d'Epargne is stronger than I thought but...my Cycling Spider Sense tingles whenever I see those yellow handlebars.

Cadel Evans was solid as usual but had some choice words for one of the Moto guys after having a mechanical and seems a bit tense. Like, borderline Jack Nicholson as Col. Jessup in A Few Good Men tense. I imagine a lot of silence on the Silence bus.

I have been listening to the Eurosport audio in the morning and Sean Kelly completely calls him Cattle Evans. It's not even close to Cuh-del. I've heard that Evans will correct people on the pronunciation from time to time but I wonder if he would have the stones to say anything to Kelly. Anyway, I recommend listening if you don't have video for the morning coverage. Or can't covertly watch it online at work.

Other Random Things That May Not Have Anything To Do With The Tour:

I crossed paths with Tom Danielson a couple of times this past week as he was in Boulder for a while prior to the Cascade Classic. He was doing some motorpacing and passed me going up Lefthand Canyon at what must have been at least 27mph. It was kind of humiliating. Okay - quite humiliating.

Then Tommy D showed up at the Niwot Criterium along with a solid group of domestic pros. When the local weekend crit has a start list that reads like an NRC event - you may want to consider sandbagging it in the lower Categories for a while. Being a Cat 2 in Colorado is kind of like being a Freshman at a Senior party - you may have some classes together from time to time but you always know where you stand in the pecking order.

For the record, Toyota United were the cool clique and swept the podium with Ben Day, Ivan Stevic and Jonny Clarke out of a break that consisted of Phil Zajicek, Colby Pierce and Jason Donald among others. Len Pettyjohn then mentioned that the TUP guys had done 5 hours before the race. Oh, okay...I guess that 6th hour is when you really start flying.

I wonder if Will Frischkorn and Danny Pate are sitting in their hotel rooms in France, thinking how far they are from Cascade right now.

Check out my podcast with Will from the Tour if you haven't already. I'm new at the whole podcast deal so forgive the slow start but I think there is some interesting stuff in there once we got rolling. Nice. Nice.

TdF - Talkin' Tour and TT's

First of all, check out the podcast interview I was fortunate enough to do with Tour de France rider Will Frischkorn of the Garmin-Chipotle team after the Stage 4 Time Trial on MissingSaddle.com. It’s fairly entertaining if you’re interested in hearing some Tour talk from one guy who is not used to doing such things and another one who is. I am not Larry King yet but Will is a good guy and played along nicely. Even got a question about the kits in at the end.

Actually, I've only listened to it once but I'm concerned that my style is a little more like the ladies from the "Delicious Dish" sketch on SNL. Good times. I'm glad it was Will and not Alec Baldwin (aka Pete Schweddy) on the other end of the line.

Hopefully we’ll be able to get some additional updates from France as the race progresses.

Okay, so now for the TT and yet another close call for both Columbia and Garmin-Chipotle:

Say what you want about Stefan Schumacher (such as...reputed amphetamine user and doper, self-proclaimed blood-value altering diarrhea sufferer, confirmed drunk driver and George Hincapie crasher for example), the guy rode one fast time trial in Cholet. So fast that he got himself a somewhat shocking yellow jersey over Kim Kirchen of Columbia and David Millar of Garmin-Chipotle.

Without getting into any of the things one could say about Valverde and Schumacher wearing yellow (cough), I have to say that it would have been exceedingly good for professional cycling to have either Captain Kirchen or Miller Time to get the jersey. Nothing against Gerolsteiner or Caisse d'Epargne, but it would have been nice to see a leader from an American team with a cutting-edge internal testing system. I'm just saying.

With that said, it was great to see Danny The Pate on top of the leaderboard for a while, even though dang Sylvia Chavanel knocked him off. Thankfully Jens Voigt beat the crap out of his bike like he was Chuck Norris (oh yeah) and took the lead for a while until Menchov lowered the bar. Christian Vandevelde put in a really solid performance and slotted in at 8th, one spot ahead of George Hincapie.

Ultimately, Cadel Evans gained time on everyone he needed to (Liggett: "He pulled out a big one and struck a psychological blow to his rivals" - ok), Valverde lost time to everyone he didn't want to, Cancellara proved that he is mortal and Schumacher almost seemed not to be.

Anyway...we will see what happens later this week. The race is wide open and I have a feeling that Shoe Maker and the Water Boys will be under an incredible amount of pressure over the next few days. I can't wait.

TdF - 3 Up, 3 Down

Well, we're three days into the TdF and I am already beginning to lose my resistance to the impending dementia caused by that infuriating "Take Back the Tour" commercial on Versus. I can only hope (with every fiber of my being) that the VS producers get as sick of it as I have and end the madness before someone (like me) gets committed to a mental institution. I'll be on the stretcher mumbling "I'm gonna get myself straight" right before they put me into the straightjacket.

Specifically, the reverse-footage is exceedingly depressing, a little offensive and the song kind of makes me want to kill myself. Or start doing drugs to numb my ears and the resulting suicidal tendencies. Good job VS!! Only two and a half more weeks to go!! I hope we all make it. The riders might be clean but now the entire viewing public will be pill-popping alcoholics by the end of the month.

Okay, back to the race. Well, sort of…

Alejandro Valverde is obviously a great cyclist. After all, he's been winning races since he was a kid and has continued a fairly steady rise to now challenge for the Tour de France. However, among a few other concerns, there is just something inherently cheesy about Valvoodoo which prevents me from enjoying many of his victories. I feel kind of bad saying it, but I call 'em like I see 'em and something about the Spaniard's style bugs me. Okay, I actually don't feel that bad.

From the historically low-cut socks (a little triathlon-weird looking but still better than Moreau's white tube socks), to the prematurely balding, yet oddly Jheri-curlish hair (just shave it off dude, trust me), to the overly-coordinated yellow, black and red of his new Spanish National Champion's kit (the yellow on the bike and helmet make it seem like he's trying too hard), the man who may or may not be DIRECTLY linked to Operacion Puerto has track record of questionable style (and nickname) choices.

But considering he got his big break in those horrendous old green Kelme kits – maybe he was doomed from the start. Or maybe Fuentes should have been a fashion advisor too. He seemed pretty slick in all those Mafioso-style photographs.

Anyway, despite the relative ease with which he won Stage 1 and coasted to the finish of Stage 2, I am sticking to my prediction that bad things will surface for Valv.Piti and he will not be sporting those garish yellow-gold Oakleys in Paris. ASO cannot be happy that he is prowling the top of the GC right now. "Umm…can someone get that Spanish judge on the line? Patrice Clerc would like to speak with him."

Scandinavian By Design…

I have said it for quite some time now and I'll say it again – I like me some Scandinavians. Especially Norwegians. Or should I say "Noorveejins?"

This goes for just about everyone I've ever met but Thor Hushovd seems to reinforce this opinion. My guess is that the French like Thor quite a bit as well. Considering the publicity he has been able to generate for Credit Agricole over the last 5-6 years, he should be an honorary Frog at this point. I bet he's more popular than Moreau.

These things I know: The sun will rise again and Thor Hushovd will win a stage of the Tour de France.

So Frisch and So Clean, Clean…

The Outkast song may not have been playing on the race radio but the title seemed apt after what our local Boulder representative Will Frischkorn did in Stage 3. After over 200k's off the front, the Colorado Buffalo alum just missed grabbing what may have been the most surprising stage win for an American since Greg LeMond's TT in 1989 and cemented the fact that Slipstream/Garmin/Chipotle are going to be able to do some good things over the next few weeks.

I hope to have more details about Stage 3 from the source in the near future. But in the meantime…Way to go Man!

Between Missouri, Milan-Sanremo and now the Tour, Willdren of the Frischkorn is making getting into day-long, race-making breakaways look remarkably easy. Come on…it's only 200k's off the front. Let's go.

It's probably nothing compared to the Bus Stop Ride though and I think the start in St. Malo must have reminded him of the chapel with the same name on Peak to Peak Highway.

Next Stop for Garmin-Chipotle: A Yellow Jersey for David Millar after the TT tomorrow. Cancellara can't possibly win again, can he? We'll see.

TdF Preview - Caught Pickin'

Tis the night before the Tour and I'm finally ready to declare my picks for the Overall, Points and Mountains Classifications of the 2008 event. And of course, I will also pick the Lantern Rouge to complete the spectrum. This is setting up to be a pretty interesting Tour and none of these choices was easy.

Mountains:

1) Ricardo Ricco

The Cobra won't be looking at the GC so he will probably be given some extra leash. I anticipate a lot of great quotes and some post-Giro aggression from the fiery Italian. Not to mention a polka-dot jersey to go with those heinous "widows peak" shorts.

Points:

1) Erik Zabel

This is a bit of a sentimental pick but for some reason I think the Flat Top will finish in Green for the 7th time. Without Boonen in the mix I see the German veteran being able to make enough of the smaller group finishes to gather a 13th stage win and enough points to distance himself from the likes of McEwen, Hushovd and Cavendish. I see all of these guys getting stages though, in addition to Friere - who could win the Green if he wanted to, but who will focus on stages and then prepare for the Olympics.

Ciolek may make it interesting if he can manage to keep his head still when he sprints. Seriously, keep an eye on that. It's pretty crazy.

General Classification:

1) Denis Menchov

What can I say? I don't really WANT to pick the Russian but I think he has the best resume and will be the most consistent rider over the next three weeks. He knows what it takes to win a Grand Tour (even though he only knew about one of the two Vuelta wins at the time) and his performance in Spain last year was more impressive than anything I have seen Cadel Evans do. I always thought Menchov was the scariest rider in 2006 when Floyd won and I see 2008 shaping up similarly.

2) Cadel Evans

He's got all the tools and has been perhaps exceedingly vocal about his total dedication to improving on last year's 2nd place. But I just don't see it happening. I envision a very close race between Evans and Menchov but the Australian's lack of experience when truly fighting for the lead (he was out of it last year until the final time trial after Rasmussen got canned) will cause him to lose more time in the mountains than he can get back in the time trials.

I just don't see Cadel in yellow when they finish in Paris.

3) Carlos Sastre

The little Spanish climber knows that he is running out of time and will be uncontrollable in the final mountain stages. With the Schleck Brothers waiting to pounce, CSC will likely have some serious cards to play when the groups start to thin out. Somehow I don't see Bjarne letting his new Sexy Back sponsors down and expect to see the red and black off the front a lot over the next three weeks. Jens Voigt presented by Chuck Norris will be getting much camera time.

4) Kim Kirchen

He claimed that he wanted to win the Tour de Suisse but I think his failure to do so may indicate that he will be peaking for the Tour de France. I'm sure Bob Stapleton and the Columbia people hope this is the case. I am also certain the former High Roaders will take their fair share of stages and General Hincapie will be savvy enough to help get Kirchen to Paris among the leaders.

5) Stijn Devolder

This may sound silly but Lance said Devolder could do well - and I think Kate Hudson's current boyfriend may know a thing or two about the Tour de France. Additionally, the Belgian's performances in Flanders, Roubaix and Switzerland were enough to get me on the Stijn bandwagon. I think he will fly under the radar for much of the race and have good enough time trials to jump over the better climbers. I'm bummed that he won't be rocking the Belgian National Champ kit anymore though. That has to be one of the coolest jerseys ever.

- You may have noticed that there are some prominent names left off this list. Without getting too much like the little weird lady in Poltergeist...I see some problems for Valverde which prevent his arrival in Paris (he can't hang for three weeks and bad things will take place), Cunego will crack at least once (and really regret that stupid tattoo eventually), Zubeldia will finish Top 10 (and be invisible) and Christophe Moreau will continue to annoy me (although I could see him challenging for the Mountains Classification...and losing).

Lantern Rouge:

The last place finisher of the 2008 Tour de France will be a battle between Wim Vansevenant and Jimmy Casper, both of whom have been manning the caboose on two previous editions into Paris. I see Vansevenant winning/losing this battle, primarily because I don't like the name Casper and I can't really think of much else to guage them on.

Well, those are the picks. If I am right, I will take all the glory. If I am wrong, somebody else messed things up.

FYI - Stay tuned here and at MissingSaddle.com for upcoming interviews and updates with Will Frischkorn of the Garmin-Chipotle squad from the finish of Stage 1 and various other points throughout the Tour de France. I hope I can think of some good questions. Should be interesting.

Managing Expectations - Poorly

There is a powerful concept in business (as well as cycling and life, for that matter) that can be loosely described as "managing expectations." Understanding that there are often sizable gaps between Expectations, Delivered Value and Perceived Value, the ability to avoid or at least minimize potential dissatisfaction can greatly influence the Outcome of virtually all business and personal interaction.

Patrice Clerc, President of Tour de France organizer ASO, does not seem to be familiar with this concept. In fact, many of the most influential people in Professional Cycling do not seem to fully grasp this principle. And the sport is setting itself up for failure as a result.

Often, a key element in effectively managing expectations is clearly acknowledging that uncontrollable events may occur which affect the desired Outcome. No matter the extent of due diligence, things happen from time to time which cannot be anticipated or avoided. Understanding this fact and being prepared to deal with the consequences of unforeseen events generally creates an environment in which the gaps between Expectations, Delivered Value and Perceived Value can be minimized, often resulting in a greater sense of satisfaction for the parties involved.

I think it is safe to say that no one wants to see another positive drug test at the Tour de France. Not the ASO, the UCI, the teams, the fans and especially not the riders. But the underlying sense that the Tour and the sport of cycling will be irreparably damaged should another rider test positive creates an environment where the unforeseen and uncontrollable actions of a single individual carry far more weight than they deserve.

Specifically, the Tour de France is setting itself up for failure by instilling an Expectation that it will be an "incident-free" event. Not to be too pessimistic, but a precedent has been set for this race which is not likely to disappear in 2008. And the reality is that, despite all anti-doping efforts, the riders and the testers are human and prone to errors in both judgment and action. As such, it is historically unwise to create an environment in which there is an Expectation that no riders will test positive at some point during the next three weeks, either as a result of cheating or lab error.

If we are to believe Clerc, German Television and the rest of the Doomsayers, even the very real possibility of a false positive could potentially ruin the reputation of a sport that really is trying to clean up. The entire field could be fed bread and water for months leading up to the Tour but if a highly sensitive spectrometer in France has an optic that is slightly degraded or out of alignment - a false positive could surface and “destroy the reputation of the Tour and the sport.”

But Clerc doesn’t really want to admit that last part, now does he? The Cloak of Invincibility which shrouds the drug testing labs prevents this from even being an acknowledged possibility. And yet again, Expectations are unmanaged and therefore unrealistic. And the sport suffers.

With this in mind, I can’t help but recall what happened to Phil Zajicek and Scott Moninger a few years ago as examples of what constitutes a “positive result” and how there are many shades of grey in the world of Doping. Does anyone really think those two were evil cheaters? Or, more likely, do you view them as unfortunate individuals who fell victim to unforeseen and somewhat uncontrollable events – but were branded with a scarlet D nonetheless?

Again, is it rational to fear that an unforeseen and uncontrollable event, isolated to one individual, will make all prior and existing efforts of everyone else involved in the sport less valid?

Additionally, does anyone really believe that an “incident-free” event or sport is truly 100% clean? I don’t remember many drug busts in Major League Baseball back in the Canseco days, do you? A legitimate positive result should be viewed as evidence that cyclists are human beings capable of deceit and that the sport has a testing system that is able to catch cheaters. The harder you look, the more you find.

We can and should hope for a “clean” Tour de France. But we should not expect it.

Bizarro Justice

When I was younger, I used to think that I wanted to win the Tour de France. Now that I’m older, I am somewhat grateful I never did. After all, it seems lately that life is not all yellow jerseys and champagne for those who find success in the Tour.

Perhaps more troubling than any doping concern is the fact that the recent Landis and Rasmussen verdicts (conveniently delivered the week before the Tour starts) are just the latest in a growing list of bike-related litigation which further indicates the lowly status of the athletes within the hierarchy of the sport. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – This would NEVER happen to a baseball or football player who had the support of a legitimate workers union.

Whether F-Landis or The Chicken cheated is virtually irrelevant at this point as far as I’m concerned. What is exceedingly relevant however, is the solemn understanding that the “accused cyclist” is immediately presumed guilty and is no longer judged by a standard legal system. To make matters worse for the athlete, it is now apparently possible to be penalized financially for defending yourself too vigorously.

In fact, the whole doping adjudication process is almost like some weird Bizarro Justice System where the accused must assume the burden of proof and the accuser is virtually immune to any potential evidence of wrong-doing or error. Does this seem problematic to anyone else? Even a Bizarro World Lawyer would probably say “Me not understand this legal system because it are opposite of what me have been taught in Law School.”

Here is the comment from the CAS that sums this up nicely:

"The [facility] is a WADA-accredited laboratory that benefits from the presumption that it [is] in accordance with international standards."

Okay then, case closed. The lab is WADA accredited so they must have done everything exactly right and couldn’t have possibly made any errors. Now I get it.

'

One question though – What are the international standards regarding leaking private information to large French newspapers on a fairly regular basis? I guess the Lab Rats are only capable of compromising their ethics verbally.

As far as I can tell, the following statements are factual:

- The chain of custody of Floyd Landis’ samples was broken by the lab on at least one occasion and there were multiple errors in the documentation of the samples.

- Rabobank knew of Michael Rasmussen’s whereabouts prior to the 2007 Tour and team management was aware that he was not conforming to his stated UCI location.

'

I understand that Rasmussen having his racing license suspended does not directly relate to Rabobank - but it seems clear that they knew what was going on prior to the Tour and only canned The Chicken after things got public during the race. Ultimately, Rabobank has a certain culpability in this mess and their willingness to throw Rasmussen under the big orange and blue bus was kind of foul. Or fowl?

'

I don't agree with what Rasmussen did but his employer took advantage of him and I have issues with the terms of his termination.

Now, unlike Star Jones, I am not a lawyer. Jackie Chiles and Bob Loblaw are close personal friends of mine, but I do not have any formal legal training. Having said that, I find it hard to understand how Landis could be PROVEN guilty after his sample was mishandled and Rasmussen could be fired for LYING about his location when his employer knew where he was the whole time.

Perhaps Cirroc, the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer could explain it to me because I’m pretty sure F-Landis and The Chicken can’t.

Bike (Like A Donkey) To Work Day

In an attempt to avoid offending any readers, I would like to begin this post by stating my long-standing support of commuting to work by bicycle and sincere wish that more people would ride every day.

With that said, I would also like to state that I pretty much hate National Bike To Work Day. In fact, I will go so far as to say that the entire thing actually makes me kind of angry on a number of levels.

Primarily, I get frustrated that this is the only day of the year during which I will see 99% of these people. But after some thought (as well as nearly getting taken out by a gaggle of ignorant and dangerous “commuters” on both morning and lunch rides), I have realized that this may not be a bad thing.

Note to all of those unfamiliar with cycling lingo: “On Your Left” means that I am going to pass you “on your left.” This dictates that you should move to your right – where you should have been to begin with. Apparently there are a lot of people who do not know their right from left out there.

Unfortunately, I have unwittingly stumbled upon Bike To Work Day over the last few years while on my near-daily ride to the Lab and may actually plan on driving to work next year instead. It will probably be safer than attempting to navigate the bike routes and numerous helmet-less donkeys populating them on this one day of the year. Seriously, I saw more people almost crash or get hit by cars this morning than I have in the other 364 days of the year combined. This can’t be a good thing can it?

Here is my Hypothesis:

Bike To Work Day may actually harm the overall image of bicycle commuters.

Argument:

On a normal day, there are a handful of bicycle commuters who are accustomed to riding safely in traffic and generally respect the rules of the road or bike path. For the most part, these cyclists portray a positive, healthy and environmentally conscious image. I, for one, am proud to consider myself a member of this group.

The reason I mention this is because it is critical to differentiate the people that actually commute on a regular basis from those individuals who take this one day of the year to dust off their potentially un-roadworthy bikes and cause mayhem on the roads and paths of our country.

Does anyone else think that it may be slightly problematic to have a single day in which the number of bicycle commuters increases by a factor of 10? And the overwhelming majority of the increase consists of dangerously unsafe people who rarely, if ever, ride their bikes? Call me crazy but this just seems like a recipe for disaster and frustration – for both drivers and other cyclists alike.

If my feelings and those which I inferred from the faces of the many annoyed drivers I encountered this morning are any indication, National Bike To Work Day may as well be called “A Year of Responsible Commuting and Road Sharing Efforts Diminished by a Bunch of People Who Don’t Represent the Cause or Have to Deal with the Consequences Day.”

I truly hope that some people actually convert into “real” commuters because of Bike To Work Day. And I really hope that the image of bicycle commuters as a whole is not degraded by the actions of the many people who treat this as a holiday and not a way of life.

I would like to conclude by extending my apologies to anyone who may feel insulted by some of these comments. I’m sorry that you don’t have a helmet, a safe bike or a basic understanding of traffic and bike path safety. Trust me, I do feel bad about that. But in the words of Snoop Dogg, “Don’t get mad. I’m only being real.”

Reading Between The Headlines

Understanding that I have been out of the Current Events loop for a while, this seems like a good opportunity to go back over a few recent headlines, courtesy of more reputable sources than myself. So here we go, in no particular order...seriously:

"Time's Eric Barlevav wins the 35th annual Harlem Classic in a photo finish - then crashes."

To use someone else’s phrase, that was so NOT Pro. What did Saunders have to say after the poor guy finished his “victory” lap? The ultimate “Yes, Yes, Yes! No!” moment. Awesome. I hope Barlevav does big things and we can re-live this moment over and over again.



"Phinney posts world pursuit mark"

Genetics + Environment + Motivation/Urgency = An Olympic Medal?

"Valverde claims Dauphine crown"

I could have sworn someone said that Valverde won the TT over Levi and Cadel Evans. They were kidding right? Guess not. Then I heard that Balaverde (hereby nominated for the Stupid Nickname Hall of Fame/Shame) won a sprint over Thor Hushovd on the first stage in addition to crushing everyone in the TT and then held every wheel he needed to in the mountains. Again, that can’t be true can it?

Everyone else better hope he’s peaking too soon or else July could see the latest of a growing list of Spanish Tour de France champions. Pereiro still doesn’t count though.

Levi Leipheimer: "I just had a bad moment”

Wouldn’t it be great if you could just say that at work when something bad happens?

“Sorry the deal fell through Boss. I just had a bad moment.”

"High Road to become Team Columbia"

I may just have to dust off my old Whirlibird parka from High School in honor of the new sponsorship. That jacket was rad.

Now the pressure is on Slipstream to get a major sponsor. Perhaps Vans or Bugle Boy to complete my retro-closet collection?

"Armstrong, Sutherland wrap up NVGP titles"

What’s the over/under on how many granola bars the average Nature Valley racer eats throughout this race? 20? 50? 200? I love those things.

"TdF, Amgen Tour partner on promotions"

Random Fact: The co-founder of Amgen was a professor at the University of Colorado and has a home near Chataqua Park that may sell for $22 million. Reports that Pat McQuaid is the current high-bidder have not been confirmed.

All I have to say is that there would be riots in the streets of Santa Rosa if they don’t invite Levi to the Tour of California next year.

"Day earns Olympic BMX slot"

And if anyone see my green Schwinn Predator that got stolen in front of the Der Wienerschnitzel on East Blithedale and Camino Alto in Mill Valley in 1987…please let me know. I’m still mad about it.

"Sorensen conquers La Toussuire"

I hope everyone has a chance to see Soensen’s victory salute on this stage. First he does one of the coolest things ever and makes a fly fishing gesture, like he’s reeling in the finish. But then he almost loses the catch and nearly decks it across the line.

Not even close to the Harlem finish in the “Yes, Yes, Yes! No!” contest though.

"U.S. Olympic road hopefuls awaiting selection to Beijing"

It’s like USA Cycling is giving riders the Astana/Giro Treatment. Oh wait, I guess that worked out okay. So…whatever. They should narrow it down a bit more at this point don’t you think?

"Cyclists and Dodge City"

Essential reading for those in the evil “Boulder Cycling Community” from the Sheriff of Larimer County’s blog.

The fact that the Sheriff of Larimer County has a blog kind of makes me want to throw my computer away. Sadly, I think he speaks for much of his constituency.

"UCI suspends French federation - Riders and events remain unaffected"

Way to make a statement UCI. That’ll teach those Frenchies to behave.

"ProTour adds Russian tour"

So now we have a Tour of Qatar and a Tour of Russia. Sweet. I am really looking forward to the Tour of Bangladesh next year.

"Boonen's apology over cocaine positive won't get him into the Tour"

It would have been embarrassing for Astana if they found out that an apology was all it took to get back in the ASO’s good graces.

Tornado Tom is saying that he got spiked at a club though which is pretty sketchy. I think the prospect of an elite athlete getting sabotaged is quite real. Can you say “Big Brown?”

Regardless, no defending Yellow or Green Jersey winners at the Tour this year. Thank goodness we have Mauricio Soler to fill the void left by Contador and Boonen. Oh…

"Plans uncertain as former world champ takes a break"

“Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while.” – Brian Fantana, Anhorman.

"Hincapie takes Dauphine stage"

But couldn’t get the jersey zipped up in time. I’m thinking Melanie’s husband gets another stage win at the Tour. And he’ll have time to post up for the new sponsor – Team Columbia Green and Purple Whirlibird Parka circa 1990.

"Saxo Bank signs on with Team CSC"

I cannot wait for the first time Phil Liggett or Bob Roll calls them “Team Sexy Back.” I hear that Bob is a massive Justin Timberlake fan. Ever since he did “D*** In A Box” on SNL.

"CSC's Breschel wins Philly"

Yeah, yeah Euro guy won but who was the first American? Oh, I guess that doesn’t mean quite as much anymore.

I’m just happy that no one from the Amore & Vita-McDonalds team won so we wouldn’t have to bear the sight of that kit again. Metlushenko is legit though.

"Leipheimer wins Dauphiné prologue"

Do you think Levi almost resents having good form leading into July? It’s going to be murder on the Sonoma County group rides when Levi shows up after watching Robert Gesink and Haimar Zubeldia fight for a possible podium spot on the morning VS coverage.

"Johan Bruyneel releases book, launches Web site re-design"

Is Johan a web designer too? I think the book is called “How To Win Bike Races: Hire the Best Bike Racers In The World.” It’s one page long and the forward is written by Phil Jackson.

"Contador eyes grand tour sweep with Vuelta"

I still stand by my description of his style as being similar to a “crazed spider monkey on a bicycle.” But I now stand significantly more impressed. This kid is for real.

"Bouygues Telecom ends Boonen negotiations"

Yeah, they’re probably better off with Voeckler and all the other charismatic stars on Boogie Telecom. Maybe one of Tom’s supporters did him a favor by dosing his drink after they got an image of their hero in that baby blue French kit.

"WADA Gene Doping Symposium calls for greater awareness"

Okay, good meeting folks. Glad you got that cleared up for us. Isn’t the fact that there is a Symposium on the topic an indication of at least some awareness?

"McEwen mouths off in Switzerland"

Leave it to The Rocket to actually fire F-Bombs at not only the race and the organization, but the entire country of Switzerland as well. Awesome.

But really, who has a problem with Switzerland? Maybe Robbie is lactose intolerant and can’t tell time or something. If that were the case, I could see how it would be a frustrating country.

I am all about chocolate, cheese and watches though so I have nothing but love for Switzerland. Although I still don’t think we should have to pay full price for Swiss cheese. But that’s another topic.

A Thousand Words

Through the magical powers of the Interweb, I have recently been in e-contact with a number of people whom I have not spoken to in many years. Now, most of these people knew me in high school and college, during a period of my life when I was rarely, if ever, seen more than a few feet from my bike. As such, one of the first questions often asked is “Are you still cycling?”

The short verbal answer to this question is “Yes.” Longer verbal answers usually follow but I thought this might be a good opportunity to let a few choice pictures respond to some similar questions with a bit less clarity and a little more humor.

Q: "Are you still cycling?"

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A: "Yes, I'm still cycling. But I'm carrying a few more pounds these days."

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Q: "Are you still racing?"

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A: "Not much anymore, but I still train and commute as much as possible."

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Q: "Do you ever do any spin classes?"

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A: "No."

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Q: "Are you still a biker?"

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A: "I suppose it depends on your definition."

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Q: "Have you been in any more bike accidents?"

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A: "A few."

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Q: "Are you still wearing your helmet?"

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A: "Always. You never know what could happen out there."

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Q: "Do you ever go for rides with your cat, Cosmo?"

A: "No, not with Cosmo."

In addition to the standard questions seen above, I have also gotten some strange ones recently as well. It's funny what people can come up with after a decade or so without contact.

Q: "Was Jan Ullrich guilty or not?"

A: "If you mean guilty of wearing full-length matching velvet jackets with his girlfriend, then yes. Yes, he most certainly was."

Q: "Where you on the winning Japanese World Series team?"

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A: "Yes, in fact I was. How did you recognize me?"

Q: "Do you still like karate movies?"

A: "Yes, but only if the action is authentic. As well as the hairstyles."

Okay, I hope that get's everyone updated on the important things. As we know, a picture is worth a thousand words. They might all be wrong, but there's at least a thousand of them in each of these shots.

More on the Giro, Philly and the Dauphine coming soon...I promise.

Any More Questions?

Sometimes people ask me questions. Sometimes I provide answers. See examples below:

Q - No Tour de Georgia coverage at all? What’s wrong with you, Yankee?

Fair enough. I hate the New York Yankees baseball team, but I don’t mind being called a Yankee. I love carrots, but I hate carrot soup. And I hate peas, but I love pea soup.

First of all, my lack of recent commentary is primarily a function of increased activity at the Job Spot, not a result of any lack of interest in our beloved sport. Or Georgia for that matter. Especially when we have the opportunity to see the US National Champion (Levi) and a guy on the most popular US Professional team (Lowe, Slipstream) look at each other while some other dude hardly anyone has ever heard of rides away at the most critical time of the entire race.

With that said, sometimes I think they should make the Tour de Georgia into a series of single-day events and not a stage race. It’s gotten to be like an NBA basketball game, where you can just watch the last quarter and pretty much see everything you need. Perhaps they should just make Brasstown Bald a hill-climb event like Mt. Washington, Mt. Evans or Mt. Tam.

But if the alternative to an inevitable showdown on Brasstown is a breakaway that gains huge chunks of time like last year with Janez (aka Yanni) Brajkovichszcxsck, then maybe the current format is okay. I am not sure anyone wants to see a repeat of 2007 again.

Anyway, I fear for the future of the TdG if they keep having random foreign guys with unpronounceable names (at least for most Southerners – sorry, that was offsides) taking victories over popular Americans (see VandeVelde, Leipheimer). Not to be too much of a Homer, but American races need American winners to grow the sport. Especially in the South. Am I wrong?

Q - How many kids in Georgia are running around with their autographed Kanstantin Sivtsov jerseys? Do you think they outnumber the ones with their autographed Kanstantsin Siutsou jerseys?

This whole multiple name spelling deal continues to bother me. I haven’t had the time or patience to research this more thoroughly but I feel bad for a guy who wins one of the biggest races in the country and has both his first and last names spelled no less than three different ways in various major cycling publications.

Now, I understand that there are sometimes necessary alterations to account for ümlauts and whatnot, but still, isn’t there a name on the start list that matches his UCI license or something? I can’t help but feel that it is somewhat disrespectful to not honor the acknowledged, preferred spelling of the guy’s name. Is that crazy and hyper-sensitive? I would be annoyed if I were Kanstantin Sivtsov. Or Kanstantsin Siutou.

Q - How cool is it that Christian VandeVelde got the maglia rosa on the twentieth anniversary edition of Andy Hampsten’s 1988 Giro d’Italia victory?

It is very cool.

In a crazy confluence of events, I ended up in Chicago on the weekend that CvV got the jersey. For those who don’t know, CvV is a native of the Chicagoland area and I couldn’t help but think how cool it is that a guy from the Midwest would be pulling on the leader’s jersey of the Tour of Italy.

Interestingly, I had a fairly lengthy discussion with a gaggle of soon-to-be Aunts the night before Slipstream won the TTT and found out that a soon-to-be Cousin-In-Law used to race with Christian back in the day. We talked about what a good guy he is (I first met CvV when he lived in Boulder) and how cool it was that he and the team were in Italy for the Giro. Then I checked the InterWebs the next morning and saw that he had taken the maglia rosa.

Very cool indeed.

Q - Could you beat the Schleck Brothers in a game of poker?

Well, I don’t personally know the Schleck Brothers, but yes, I think I could beat them in a game of poker.

The reason I say this is not because I am a strong poker player. In fact, I really don’t play much at all. But the reality is that the Schleck’s played the exceptional cards they were dealt at Liege-Bastogne-Liege like a couple of drunk 21 year-olds at a high-stakes table in Vegas.

Maybe they couldn’t have done anything against Valverde in the finale but I honestly think that everyone on the planet knew that they were going to try to spring Andy as a decoy and Frank would attack when they reeled him in. It was Bike Racing Tactics 101 but there was absolutely NO element of surprise when Frank counterattacked. I think they got too anxious and predictable.

Do they have casinos in Luxembourg?

Q - Seriously, what’s with the all-white kits? I mean, really?

Ugh. I wish I knew the answer to that question as it has been perplexing me for a few years now.

One of the most disappointing things about the Giro d’Italia this year is that Paolo Bettini has gone back to wearing the white shorts again. You may recall that The Cricket had actually procured some pretty cool shorts for Milan-Sanremo that were black in the junk-area and had white panels with the World Champion stripes. Then, inexplicably, he shows up for the Giro in all-white again. Devastating.

I would say that the all-white kit is a Euro thing but Ryan Trebon called that theory into question a while back with his USGP leader’s kit. Far be it for me to critique Treefarm and David Millar on anything but still…you guys should leave the all-white style to the Italians and the Imperial Stormtroopers from Star Wars.

Q – Should Petacchi have been suspended for taking too much asthma medicine?

I have always thought that the whole “Therapeutic Use Exemption” thing was weird because we all know that, given proper money/fame/etc, one can get a prescription for just about anything. Unless, of course, you have insurance through Kaiser.

So, Petacchi apparently has asthma (along with dozens of other professional cyclists with world-class lung capacities…?) which he treats with a borderline illegal inhaler. He takes an extra hit, maybe swallows some of the medicine and gets popped with an adverse analytical finding at the 2007 Giro. A year later, he gets officially suspended for an entire season because he couldn’t prove that he had taken all of the precautionary measures possible to avoid the extra inhaler hit. Uh, wait…what?

The beauty of the whole thing was the arbitration panel saying that they didn’t think Petacchi had done anything on purpose OR gained any advantage as a result of the inhaler over-dose. But they still suspended him for a year. Uh, wait…what? Where are Jackie Chiles and Bob Loblaw?

Somewhere there is an Italian patent-lawyer who is thanking his lucky stars that he is not a defense attorney for professional cyclists. Not an easy way to make a living these days.

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I hope Floyd's lawyers have been taking notes.

Q - What’s up with so many male bike racers having female names?

The Sports Guy has a list called the Lindsey Hunter All-Stars, which consists of a bunch of male professional athletes who have names that make them sound like ladies. It’s actually pretty funny. Well, I guess as long as your name doesn’t appear on the list.

Anyway, it is true that there are a ton of Andrea’s, Daniele’s and other potentially feminine names out there in the pro peloton. The Giro start list reads like a co-ed classroom roll call.

It’s pretty much a European thing at this point, but maybe we will see the opposite phenomenon in the States and we’ll get a rush of girls named Lance and Floyd in the next few years. Or not.

Q - Why does Cycle Sport hate Tyler Hamilton so much?

Okay, I don’t know if Tyler maybe ran over the Editor’s dog or what, but it sure seems that the magazine has gone out of its way to disparage Hamilton at every opportunity. Think what you will about the guy but come on, when do you (as a professional publication first, as a thoughtful person second) bury the hatchet and get over it already? Has the man not been vilified enough for you people?

Everyone is entitled to their opinions but what bothers me is the way that Cycle Sport has gone about their anti-Tyler smear campaign. Instead of just coming out and honestly saying “We don’t like Tyler Hamilton” the magazine has taken to publishing pictures of him along with carefully selected Letters to the Editor from random “readers” who act like they were personally attacked by the man and that he is responsible for all of the evils in the sport.

It is confusing to me that Cycle Sport would consider it worthwhile to publish letters from people who have such little appreciation for cycling that they can be so quick to dismiss the sport due to their individual views about a single rider. Trust me, if Tyler Hamilton following his boss’ request and riding in front of the peloton at the Tour of California can shake your faith in the sport…maybe you need to look a little closer at the foundation of your interest.

Hey Cycle Sport, where were all the letters about Oscar Sevilla doing the exact same thing?

Q – Race radios, good or bad?

I am kind of conflicted on this one. I certainly think that the radios make the race safer by giving riders information about crashes, road conditions etc. But on the other hand, they do make the racing more predictable and controlled.

I guess at the end of the day, I’ll base my opinion off of the various insults I received after admitting that I ride with an iPod recently. As a testament to my apparent lack of intelligence, I say we keep the radios and continue to experience the fun of watching guys tape earplugs onto their heads before races.

I just hope they get to listen to something other than “Venga! Venga! Venga!” all the time.

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- As always, thanks to those who write comments and questions for this blog. I appreciate your interest and hope to hear from you all in the future. Remember, there are no stupid questions. Just stupid people. Like me.